Withering Away...

I'm really straying away from posting now. Just don't have to feeling man. Everytime I book out time just seems so short and I just feel too shack or emo to even thing of anything. But I'll not give up this blog...yet.

I'm gonna put it short and sweet.

THIS WEEK WAS HELL.

FIELD CAMP WAS FKING SHACK.

MINDFUCK + PHYSICAL TORTURE.

SWEAT LIKE DOG.

I'll never be the same again.

LET'S INCREASE THE LEVEL!

NEXT WEEK IS SITEST!

EVEN MORE XIONG, THEY SAY!

I can only look forward to next (supposedly) long weekend...since they say got Field Camp rest. I really need it. I mean, 5 days of torture den like less than 24 hours to rest before another week of (almost) the same thing? It's fking SLAVERY man.

FKING silver lining better show yourself soon and stop hiding behind the dark clouds!

To quote:

Everything here is so cold,
Everything here is so dark.

Just 4 more days! Just tahan through...IPPT, SOC x2, 12km ROUTE MARCH OMG!!!, SITEST...
I don't know how I survived FC. I don't know if I can survive this.

There are so many problems now. I am currently in another CRISIS period in my life. I don't know when it will end, or if it will at all.

I can only take things chunk by chunk, step by step.

Somehow, being Kvlt/Trve still seems to be able to keep me alive. I am a man who can only be motivated by negativity. The more darker, deeper, more pressure, more shit thrown at me, the more pissed and motivated and focused I become. I guess it's a combi of my screwed up ideality and my temperamental personality.

So help me Lab. Drive me to my gear 5 during RM. Make me forget all the pain.

I have not tio any dumb heat rash or other common injuries that ppl tio in FC. In fact I'll still 100%, just that I'm still recovering from the fatigue. Again, primary aim this next week is still to not tio any injury and come back 100%.

So many questions, so little answers.

But the one I want to know the most is: When will my next positive event occur? It's been a string of negativity since BMT. Worsen by A levels, range, and FC.

If I had things my way, things would change for the better. NOW.

Stay tuned.

QOTD: Nothing to do, high kneel!