Intense.

My blog my be a joke, but that won't stop me from carrying on writing...It's all just for the record...it's worth it man.  

Am I just blur or plain lazy, I wonder?

Is it just my attitude or maybe I'm just too inferior?

Time and time again I've been reminded, yet time and time again I keep commiting mistakes. 

Today was another fine example. I was guilty of not one, but FOUR mistakes that could have resulted in extras again. My hair, my boots, my uniform and my inner vest. Now that I see it, basically every part of my appearance. My hair -- totally forgotten since I was on duty and not present for the rehearsal, when they usually remind us to get a haircut.  My boots -- did not tie all the way up. It's the damn tradition of my Platoon to just tie a few but I should have known better. My No. 1 -- dirty, crumpled. But I used it for two duties. No excuses also I guess. My inner vest -- So happen that they say CANNOT wear ISTANA shirt for God knows what dumb reason. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. But, well. You could guess how nervous I was throughout the whole parade. He could have caught me ANY moment. But I escaped. Worse, superpowers like RSM MPTS, RSM SAF and even CDF were present today. But, I escaped. I don't know how. I was incredibly lucky. INCREDI-FUCKING-BLY LUCKY. 

But I HATE THE FEELING. To live with fear and uncertainty every minute. If I go through moments like these every now and then, my lifespan will shorten even more. But fkin' hell, why are they so strict on little crap like these? Sign sign sign I'm SICK of hearing the WORD 'SIGN'. SIGN, EXTRA, SIGN Fuck.

F-U-C-K THE NEXT GUY WHO SAYS SIGN EXTRA TO MY FACE I WILL PUNCH HIM. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH, THE FUSE IS BLOWN. 

It is fate that I did not sign today. Because I had opt to do today's parade. Volunteered. And son, you don't punish people for helping people, period. It's all fated. So I laugh in their face who wanted me to SIGN SIGN SIGN. 

I'm SICK of signing, punishments, etc. I really am. 

But I got through today, safe and clean. It's a big relief. Just another parade, just another day in the office. 

But I can't assure my luck won't run out soon.