2011: A Perspective from 2010

*Tries to be as positive as possible even though I'm down with a flu and need to book in tonight*

Hey! It's the final hours of 2010 and we are counting down! This year there will be no traditional gathering and countdown celebration for me as everyone is busy. We the army guys are in camp, others have love interest, etc. Indeed, I will be counting down in camp heh.

Every year eve, our NP clique will sit down quietly after countdown and have a good chat about their year and their hopes for the next. However this year it ain't happening which is quite a shame. So instead, BLOG! I will be putting my heartfelt thoughts as we share the moment together...

A look back, wow, it has been a good year. Better than 2009, if you asked me. And I thought 2009 was a great year. It just keeps getting better, I hope. But 2010 was huge. A lot of life changing events happened. I remember on 1 Jan 2010 chilling @ henderson waves thinking what would 2010 be like. And now I am thinking the same about 2011.

My motto for 2010 was "Life begins at 20". Or so it always has been. In 2010, I finally hit my twenties and it felt bittersweet. I was no longer a kid or teenager. I was no long an adolescent going through the juvenile period. The time had finally come, that I was going to face adulthood. I admit, I have had my share of wasted years in my youth, but all the more it made me want to redeem myself. So with an aim to do as much as I possibly can in 2010, I took on the year. 

Perhaps no bigger chapter in my life could top the day I took up competitive running! In 2009, I was a changed man. I underwent the biggest undertaking in my life by losing 22kg, turning from fat to fit. In 2010, I am proud to say I have maintained my weight and not just that, I have become way fitter! There were so many memories from the races I participated in. For example, my first race, the Army Half Marathon. I experienced the atmosphere and spirit of running. Or the time I went to KL for the Nike race. First overseas race! Or my first trail run at Macritchie reservoir. But undoubtedly, the cream of the crop easily; MY FIRST MARATHON! Six months of struggle and preparation. All the mixed emotions -- happiness, pain, resilience accumulated, resulting in sheer estacy when I crossed the finishing line, and earning the credentials to call myself a RUNNER. I did it man, I did it. =)

Oh haha, how could I have forgotten my enlistment into SAF? Serving the nation is an obligation for every Singaporean male and in 2010, my turn came. I remembered vividly, I was not scared, I was prepared. I had lost so much weight pretty much to dodge the extra two PTP months and trained hard for BMT. I was ready. 

BMT to me will always be filled with mostly good experiences. We were trained from day one basic military skills and culture. Stuff like shooting a real rifle, throwing a real grenade, putting on camo-cream, being tortured in field camp, the soldiers' camaraderie, regimentation etc will all be etched in my memory. However I had disappointed myself as I didn't go to command school. I thought long and hard and went looking for all the reasons why. I realised it was a combination of my poor social skills and incompetent A level grades. This led me to question my value as a human being, but it spurred me on the push harder in my running. 

I was extremely bothered, but I was lucky enough to be posted as a Military Police! It is definitely one of the best vocation out there. 8 to 5, no stay in, no SOC/VOC, no outfields, yet we get combat pay, slack life...I am privileged. I met some very good friends in basic course, and I am grateful. Then after my graduation as a certified MP, I was posted to non other than the Istana Platoon! I guess it was fate. But life here, after half a year of 'standing', is pretty good. I love the fixed schedule and funny people. Bad news is, i got into trouble time and time again, and as of 2010 my 'record' is 5 off (deducted) and 3 extra duties. (I'm sssad). But I have learnt my lesson, and one of my aims for 2011 is not to get punished anymore. 

Also, there were sad times. During my MP basic course, my bed buddy told me my tuition mate had retook her A levels, instead of going to University! I was stunned, because I could have went back to tuition since I retook also and might have another chance. But how could I have known. That hit me pretty hard. Another event during June, I went back to the Food Expo which I worked in 2009, and saw some good people..and a crush. It was good to see her again but I know, I will never have to chance. 

Events like these always make me think a lot but I always channel them positively into running. That is where I get my motivation from. I believe in this, if I want to get a girl as perfect as I can imagine, then me myself must be good enough for her, if not better than her. I must be deserving. I look down on those princess and the frog cases. 

My 'bond' with Black Metal and aggression has also subsided. Nope, I am not over the phase. Black Metal will always be in my veins and I can never erase my dark periods, but now I have no need to call upon it so much. It is because, again, due to running. I have become a more peaceful person, more hopeful, and more believing. I love to listen to smooth Burzum music and instrumentals instead of the RAW and depressing stuff now. However the ultimate point is, I know I can always have Black Metal Music as something to sympathize with no matter how dark and depressive I feel and that is TRVE!

Now, as the new year begins, let's look at some events I forsee/hope for 2011:

• BTT and FTT done
• Be CLEAR of my future. 
• My first Ultramarathon 100K, and 2 more Marathons (SD & SCSM) 
• Finishing a presentable portfolio and applying for NTU ADM 
• Do no commit anymore stupid offences in camp (Think before you do)
• My POSB A/C balance $5000 when I ORD. 
• ORD DATE: 3/12/2011 "ORD LOH!!!!!"
• Taiwan Trip?
• Wisdom tooth extraction
• First Clubbing experience
• 21st Birthday (?) (No celebration...)
• Project "Bodybuilder"?

Well, that's all I can think of now...but of course, like the past, I hope the new year brings in new surprises! I can't forsee the future, but I sure as hell have the ability to influence my own actions and choices. 9:38PM, 31 DEC 2010. I CAN STILL SAY NEXT YEAR IS 2011 YEA! I want to complete all that in 2011, when I reach 21. Life starts at 20, and I will be reaching that FIRST year on 22 Apr, and learning more things after that. Most of all, I truly, madly, deeply want to be sure of my future, and what my plans are after I ORD. I will not allow myself to still be a wandering lost soul after 21 years of life. 

Alright, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 EVERYBODY! LET'S ALL HAVE A GOOD ONE NEXT YEAR! (And hope it's not the last complete year in history. Cue 21,21,2010 Doomsday?)

Read more »

Seeking Solace through Adversity

Time for fun and games is over. Serious training for next year is starting on Friday and all the junk that I've been gorging will be burned off. It's finally come to and end, 2010. This year I have finally turned myself into a Runner AND Marathoner after much work. 

After the Marathon, I admit, I took it easy and threw away all discipline and motivation to train. But it allowed my body to relax and recuperate. I think that's necessary. However, I think it's about time I got sick of this lifestyle. Eating waste food consisting of empty calories and lazing around isn't my thing anymore. I need to jump back to the sane, familiar 'Runner's Path'. 

So this Friday, 31/12/2010, the last day of the year, I will be doing my last run of the year. After half a year of competitive running and a total mileage of 580 km, I will finish it up with a final 30K. I can't wait. It's been so damn long, since the marathon, that I've done a long one. My body feels good. It is taped, and more than ready. It will be a good start to the new year. 

Now, although it has been confirmed: I am doing 1st Jan, but I just have to take it. Jan's duty schedule is out, and like I said, my guard duty will start. Yes, things are still gloomy for now, but I can only take it one day at a time. 

Hmm, I hope I can summarize the year up in tomorrow's post (if there is one). Friday is the MPEU bowling cohesion @ West Coast and after that I will head for my run. 

Well, I'm short of time now, so allow me to finish my last duty of the year before I try to squeeze in a year end review.!

Read more »

AM Off

Weird. It was a last minute decision too. I think it's wasteful to use AM off since you have to book in again, but..

I stayed up too late and only got a few hours sleep. I am so short of time. I'm desperate. And I sure as hell do not want to go for CPFA and VRE =.=

Since I can't take off anytime soon (unless miracle happens), and I already have 3.5 off, and that I'll be doing 1st Jan, and guard duty, it's really meaningless to keep off. What if I kena minus off again? 

Speaking of which, yes, DAMN IT I kena 1st Jan. All hope is almost lost. Unless that Saviour comes through with our deal. Which is 99% unlikely to happen. Fingers crossed.

Going to camp now!

Read more »

A little Update

Forgot where I left off...yea, I was pretty stressed the past week. Figured some time off from the blog would be good. 

Nothing life changing or blog worthy stuff happened recently.. 

Well, indeed, I have gained weight again, but who cares bout' that? It's getting boring, and I'm getting bored of losing it. Just going with the flow this time guys, but fret not, I am still running. 

Clocked 6K on Christmas and 10K on boxing day. Wanted to challenge 25K on 25/12 as an Xmas themed run...but, well, it is too tough for me now. I am just doing short distances at a blistering pace to retain my speed. My endurance is kinda poor now. 

It is normal to slack off after a Marathon, especially in Dec. But the proper training for my Ultra 2011 will commence soon. 

Am still in the 'dark period'...and hopefully it ends around end of January. As long as the extras are not done, I am still..."SAD". 

All prayers for next Saturday! The first day of the new year! 1/1/2011. Nice number. Why, cos' I may be picked to mount on that day. If so I be counting down 2011 in camp which is ridiculously depressing. The bad news is, chances of me mounting are high, since I'm not on duty Christmas and Change of Guards. Damn...

If it really happens...it would really signify a bad start for 2011...and possibly a horrible next year...

Anyway, keep it positive, it's the final week of 2010! A great year! 3 more duties and HOPE I CAN CELEBRATE THE NEW YEAR IN PEACE. 

Read more »

Horrible Day! Freakin' blur..

Oh man...I gotta wake up. Today just exemplified the worst of me in more ways than one. I know my one great weakness clearly now; being very blur cock. Especially when I'm scared or nervous. I will be so self conscious and brainless that I f-up even the most simple things.

I had to book in today. Only one other platoon guy was in camp. During CPFA, both of us were on status so we went aside..then after a while, I went to cut my hair. After that, we left the barber and went to eat. Suddenly my friend asked, "Where's your jockey cap?". Oh shit, I misplaced it, I thought. I went back to the canteen to check. Not there. I hadn't a clue where I left it, so I instantly suggested going back to the barber to check. Luckily, it was there. How could I have been so ignorant. 

But my mind was wreaked by the fact I had to sign extra. It was bothering me the whole day. I just wanted to get it over with. Then I could take PM off and leave. 

So I decided to wait in the office for my PS. Wait. I didn't even bother to call, out of fear. And hoping he might forget. But no, he called instead and said he wanted to see me. So there and then, I couldn't escape already. Off I went to sign the extra. 3. First time. I am f-up. No matter how much I can excel in running. And the freakin' lame claims about a marathon changing your life. It all crap as my life is still the same, I am still so damn blur and f-up, AND THAT'S ALSO THE REASON I DID NOT GET CHOSEN FOR COMMAND SCHOOL IN THE FIRST PLACE COS' MY PEER APPRAISAL SUCKS, AND IT'S ALSO WHY I DID SO BADLY FOR MY A LEVELS EVEN THOUGH I TOOK TWICE, AND THAT'S ALSO THE BLOODY REASON MY SOCIAL NETWORK SUCKS, AND ALL THE OTHER CRAP IN MY LIFE.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFWKEFBWEKJFBEDKFBEKFBKJEWBFKJBFKJFB WEJHBADVBB;VBERAIUBVHIJBVIBVIBVE;V,LWBVKVBKVBWK;FVBKVJCBWEKFCBEKFJCBAEKCBWEUVBERIUVBRVKAREBVKERBVKEVBVADBVAEKvjBAV

KNN CB I AM OUT

I DONT CARE ANYMORE FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

I AM BREOKEN 

I AM BROKENC

JBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBCBBB

AND GUESS WHAT, THE STUPIDEST THING TT HAPPENED TODAY. I TOOK THE COMPUTER CARD NEEDED TO LOG IN THE I-NET AND PUT IT IN MY POCKET AND LEFT IN MY NO.4 PANTS. AND I WENT HOME. NORMALLY PPL USE IT AND LEAVE IT IN THE OFFICE, BUT OUT OF MY BLURNESS TODAY I UNKNOWINGLY TOOK IT AND PUT IN MY POCKET. THEN WHEN I WAS SLEEPING I GOT A CALL FROM MY SGT ASKING WHERE'S THE CARD AND TTS WHEN I REALISE I HAD PUT IT IN MY POCKET. I PANICKED AND SEARCHED FRANTICALLY IN MY HOUSE BUT IT WASN'T THERE. SO I ASKED HIM TO OPEN MY LOCKER AND SEARCH. ONLY THEN HE FOUND IT AND I GOT FKED.

I MEAN WHY THE FK YOU BRING PUT II IN YOUR POCKET AND GO FF YOU DUMB CB!!!! WHAT WAS I THINKING? NO I OBVIOUSLY WASN'T THINKING !!!!1 MY MENTAL STATE OF MIND IS IN A MESS NOW. I AM ROTTING

GO FK YOURSELF LA 

Read more »

Dark times, dark times.

December's just started. 

December's just started.

Somehow, karma never fails to hit me in the most ironical of ways. It ALWAYS happens this way. By a cruel twist of fate. My life is just like that. My stars are fixed. 

Well.

I just signed 3 extra AGAIN.

You know, there's no use elaborating about how it signed, why I signed or whatever. There's no point in letting people know since it's my blog. If people are truly concerned they will ask themselves, Lab. So leave it there. I only need to focus on how to clean this shit up. Yes, from my tone I am damn pissed just talking about it, but on doing the extra, it really doesn't bother me after a long thought. After all, it's just staying in extra hours in camp, a few hours of sleep taken away, for what, three days. It's nothing. I can handle it. But how I actually signed really pisses me off. 

Am I really the 'jinx'? I wonder. Or am I just undergoing a rough time early. Maybe this will pass soon, and the rest of my army life will be smooth sailing. After all, I do learn from past mistakes. I hope this is the case. I am sick of having my offs deducted and signing extras like free. It's killin' me man, even though I may on a brave front. 

Yet, Metal never ceases to induce some comfort and tranquility into these dark times. I can always depend on Metal to emote with, to share my negative emotions. Of course, I could go out and have a long run to clear my mind too. On the 'channeling my negative emotions' department, I am adept. No worries for me being unable to handle the stress and doing silly things, nope. 

But truth be told, I really hate this period. From my 3 days off deducted, to getting caught for wearing watch on parade, to now. I am just hanging on a thread, son. I fear another punishment will break me. 

Looking into the near future, I admit. It's bleak. And ain't gonna be over soon. Guard duty, after I sign, will only start on January. What a lovely way to start the new year, eh? And duty schedule/parade/company drill are so packed, I can't take off easily. Just for next week, I am packed from MONDAY to THURSDAY. Then come end of the year, more duties. Luckily, I don't have duty on 31. But what I'm fearing is, to get duty on 1/1/2011. That is the ultimate blow. In fact that would suck for anyone on duty. Even after 2010, 2011's gonna start negatively. Damn, I hate being so moody but this is just the shite situation I'm in now! 

And that's just camp life. There are much bigger outside stuff bothering me now...

Read more »

Am I Injured?

This ain't good man..I've fked my left again after today's run..

First, my foot...which I thought was healed. It's some kind of twitching pain that doesn't go away...I don't know whether it's the joints or bone. It's not affecting me much other than the pain. But freak, it's back again and I think I'd better stop running any time soon.

Then my freaking knee. Is it Runner's knee I don't really know. It's at the side of the kneecap and is really getting more and more painful after each run. At first it was nothing but after today's run I can really feel the burn. 

I guess I really need a break. These repetitive pounding and thrashing of my joints is not looking good for my legs now and in the future. 

Let's hope the pain subsides after my two days duty (SIBEI SIAN, WEEKEND DUTY SOMEMORE). 

It's 9.30pm already...and I don't feel like booking in at all. Zzz...

Read more »

God Damn ULCERS!

It's killin' me...every second, every minute, every DAY..! PAIN, PAIN, unadulterated PAIN that doesn't let me have a break!!!

It's the damn ULCER(S) in my mouth!!! 

I'm seriously gonna be super careful not to brush my lips again...ARGH. People take it for granted when their mouth are free of ulcers but when the damn irritant comes it hits and hurts HARD man! 

Somemore my ulcer is not one but two or three overlapping ZZZZZZZZZZZZ just imagining it makes my hair stand!!! AND! If you roll your tongue and try to feel it, you actually feel how deep the hole is *brain burstsss*!!!! HOLY CRAP...... I can't eat, I can't drink, I can't even sleep properly. And it is definitely affecting my mood so much. I feel so freaking piss-as-shit every second man!!! I get damn moody, and so easily irritable...as if I wasn't easily moody and irritable enough. Geezzzz...

Anyone who has experienced such "mega-ulcers" would know exactly how I feel.

OH man, I hate being an Ulcer-boy. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

16 days left. Here's hoping I get some things done by the end of the year. Can't wait for New Year Eve Countdown...and NEXT YEAR!

Read more »

Nice Surprise!

Wow, I ran the Pandan Reservoir Run 2010 and didn't expect to get Second Runner-up overall! It was 6.2K, a single loop around the Reservoir. I was just looking to clock a personal best for my 5K, since I've never done that before. Little did I know that my timing was enough for a trophy! Of course, this is a small scale and little known neighbourhood event, with only maybe 200 participants, but hey, a trophy is still a trophy!

The weather was excellent. Clear skies, some breeze but not too strong. Perfect for a Sunday morning run. I have not ran since Stan Chart, so I was well rested and ready for a good performance. After the little 'oldies' workout, which was quite useful actually, we headed to the start. 

Immediately after flag off, I went clear of the crowd to check the first runners. Turned out there was only one guy breaking off -- fast, and no there was nobody going after him. I knew this was a good chance to win something, so I went catching the rabbit. As fate would have it, I was reading 'Born To Run' recently and learned a thing or two about drafting. So I stuck constantly behind the leader. Not for long though. Just when I thought this was going to be a two tail race, I heard the chasing footsteps of another runner approaching. And it was coming fast. 

Minutes later, the three of us were more or less on par. Like breaking the ice, one guy had to take the initiative to lead the pack. I was not going to do that. My strategy was clear -- stick behind the leaders all the way until the final surge. Then, the first guy slowed down drastically, and I thought he was done for. From that point, the third guy overtook the lead, and I followed, leaving the original rabbit behind.

But as my limits would bring me back to reality, I felt the blistering pace of the new leader too hot to handle! Little by little, I strayed behind, unable to keep up. He did not slow down; I just could not keep up. So it was second place then! But -- more surprises. Shortly after the halfway mark, as I was struggling the most, the original rabbit came emerging back with a bang. I saw his pace, and I knew, second was gonna be his. I was fooled; he was just tailing back to save energy before increasing pace. Great strategy. Instantly, I turned to have a look behind me. Coast clear. Yup, nobody was threatening my 3rd place. I was quite annoyed to have lost 2nd to the rabbit, but more importantly, I wanted a trophy. So I kept going, knowing that if I kept my pace my 3rd place was secured. 

It wasn't easy, as stitches struck and I had to run with it for a good 2K or so. Thankfully, a MR25 elite ran past me with encouraging words. That was a good morale booster, and I pushed on harder. I was closing the gap on the second guy, but the adrenaline didn't last for long, and I were back to normal pace again. Soon, the end point was in sight. I surged past the line, ending strongly. 3rd place!

Then, at least for a while, I felt what it was like to win a race. Straightaway, photos were taken and I was ushered to the rest area. Lots of congratulations and cheers. However, I had to wait nearly a good hour or so before prize presentation, as we needed to wait for every runner to finish. It felt great to have your name called and having so much recognition. I came in a timing of 25:20, which is ridiculously fast even for myself. That's less than a 10 minute 2.4K run, to put into perspective. BUT I SURE LOVE IT AS I AM STILL IMPROVING AND OWNING MOST OF MY PEERS!! 

                                                                         2nd Runner-up!                                                                

Read more »

Keep on Transiting...

Alright, say goodbye to the old template! This current one is close to what I had envisioned, and taking into account my lack of HTML skills, I think this should do for now. 

Life after the Marathon has resumed! I have taken a long break, didn't run since Sunday and still resting now. Well, actually I'm supposed to ain't I? 

Guess what, luck or fate has it that the Medical Officer thinks so too! So I went for a check on my foot two days ago (though mainly cos' I couldn't run and do drills), and he gave me more than I asked for -- EX L/L for TWO WEEKS, and a X-ray appointment! My left foot was indeed feeling a bit of sharp pain post-Marathon, but I've recovered from those before. So I was very surprised to get such a good excuse LOL. But still, I think I deserve the free rest after doing a freakin' Marathon man! 

It's time to really take a step back from running for now. I have some unfinished business in other departments of my life, and I intend to fix it sooner than later. My pay has finally come, and I am ready to start work. REAL WORK. But I will need every bit of lesson I learn in the past few months to spur me on, as the journey will be tough and demoralising. Slowly with progress, I will face up to my fear and reveal more...

On camp life, we are back to Istana duties all too soon. I already knew my 'Marathon Leave' would be my last one for this year, and that it will be a rough December ahead. With stuff like duties....punishments (?)...drills....parades....money problems...studies...

Whatever it is, I need to use December as a base to clean up whatever shit left undone this year. I can't afford to bring over unfinished business to the next year...so let's see, we are left ONLY 3 weeks to do it..every single day is precious. 

As the races for 2010 come to an end, I will look back at each and every single one and relief the emotions they have given me. Some good, some bad, most painful, but all are precious memories. I am fortunate to have photos as keepsake. However, I am already looking forward to NEXT YEAR. There's gonna be MORE NEW and EXCITING races, such as the Adidas KOTR and 100K. Damn sure I am going to join those I've missed out like the 100 Plus Passion and Mizuno runs. And one more thing. Damn sure I am going to earn a 4-hours Marathon. 

One year later, Lab, if you're reading this. Pat yourself at your back, because you saw the future come true, and DAMN it's gonna feel good. =D

Read more »

Humbled by the Marathon.

I figured I'd do a thorough recollection of my Marathon experience just for the record.

So I went to bed at 8.30pm sharp the night before. Had a absolutely shocking dream that ended up with me not attending the Marathon...guess I was too excited. Slept till' past 2am before waking up and packing up my stuff.
Re-visited 'Spirit of the Marathon' and David Goggins clips to pump me up. Then, changed into gear and cabbed to Orchard. When we reached, we took our time to do last minute preparation such as having an energy bar or putting some vaseline before depositing our bags. Then it was off to the starting point! By the time we walked to Ngee Ann City, the crowd was already filling in and the christmas lights were in full display. Not taking any chances to be late, we immediately made our way to the pens, took our spots, and waited.
I was excited, nervous and focused all at the same time. Only then had it hit me that I would be running at least, 4 hours non-stop! It was unnerving but I was still confident. Now it was around 4.30am, 30minutes to flag off. A while later they decided to cut off the pen barriers and merge the runners together. This was when I got an eye-opener; suddenly everyone around me rushed to get as near as possible to the start line. Well I thought the pens were designated to differentiate between the fast and slow runners, but didn't figure out that they would do away with it during the last moments before flag off. So this was how the people at the back could eventually get infront. Anyway, now everyone was warmed up and ready to go. Then the gun went off, and that marked the START OF THE MARATHON!
With a smile on my face, I told my compatriot Chunghuo 'good luck' and off I went! With the 5:50 pace in mind, I navigated away from the crowd to get some space. Around 1K into the race I saw an interesting and amusing sight; some runners were already going over to the nearby drains to pee!
So the first 10K was basically keeping pace for my targetted time. I made it to 58minutes sharp and still felt good. The plan was being executed; I was en-route to a sub-4.
Then the next part, I had to maintain 5:50 until 21K. This should be manageable, so I continued with the pace. Sometime after the 15K mark, my legs start to feel HEAVY. Like, real heavy. The worst part is, I had no explanation for it. It just came suddenly! Even right now, I am still appalled. I mean, I had prepared well, trained well, carbo-loaded, hydrated properly, had a proper breakfast. I checked everything. So I really didn't know why my legs started to feel heavy at only 15K. As the distance increase, the fatigue increased. I was still on pace though, but I was feeling the punch. But heck, I thought. If I could make it to 20K, I might just reset my engine. Then, as I crossed the 20K mark, I checked my watch which said approx 1 hour and though I was a few seconds off, sub-4 was still up for grabs. But I made one mistake.
I should have reach the 21K instead of 20K. That was the first of many breakdowns. I was instantly demoralised. It was only one kilometre, but it meant precious minutes wasted! I was looking into 4:10 finish now, though still wanting a sub-4. So I pushed forward.
But my efforts did not last long. My plan was to up the pace to 5:30/km from 21K to 32K, to make up the lost time, but it proved to be too much for me. I struggled to keep it from 21K to 23K before slowly down. I was very demoralised now, as I know sub-4 is almost impossible. But I still wanted 4:10.
Then suddenly, I broke down again. At the 25K mark, I remember. That was the first wall I hit. My pace just came crashing down to a mere trot. It was like a downward spiral, and without any warning! I just crashed and burned. The fatigue overcame me, and mentally I knew that was it. I could not go on pace anymore. Worst, I can't even salvage a 4:30 anymore. My thigh and calf muscles were so damn tight they could have exploded any moment. I reduced to a slow jog. I could only carry on with a slow jog. That moment, man, I hated it. I wanted to stop and give up. Seriously. But this was my FIRST Marathon, damn it! No way I could face anyone if I gave up! So I just sucked it up and aimed to finish. Yea, just to finish.
But that was just the start of the suffering. I honestly tell you, each and every step from 25K onwards, I was in PAIN. And no adrenaline rush could have helped. I had to run THROUGH the pain, each and every step. It was horrible. I remember 25K to 30K passing very slowly. At the 27K mark, I cramped up and I just stopped. I could not run anymore. Just couldn't lift my legs anymore. Thankfully I was at the aid station and I decided to apply muscle rub on my legs to lessen the pain. It worked perfectly! It was not a pretty sight, with white cream all over my legs and that my expensive 2XU was all covered in them, but it was working. The cooling sensation just fizzed out all the pain and I continued running. Even if I was jogging, I wanted to finish.
By now I was using all the mantras to keep myself going. Finally, at the 31K mark, we were out and into Marina. I saw the daylight again and carried on. But now I was using a walk-jog strategy. I would jog for around 2K or so, to the next water stop, drink up, take a gel or two, apply lots of muscle rub and move on. This carried on all the way till' the end. I even went to the toilet once, I remembered.
From 31K to 36K, cramping up was normal now. Pain was normal now. Yea, I just said pain was normal, what the heck. It is like they say, it's all up to your mental strength now. Do you give up and walk, or do you carry on running? I used any little bit of motivation to spur me on. The fatter guy infront of me? Catch up. The 4:45 pacer there? Follow him. The chio bu who is running fast than me? Overtake her. The beautiful backdrop, the fresh morning air, everything. I just had to keep going.
After 35K it my legs began hurting so much I had to walk again. Second wall I hit. Man, the Marathon is really, really though, I thought. That moment, I instantly regretted signing up for the 100K ultra next year. "F***, I wasted $165." I thought. This was when I was really humbled. I thought that 42K was nothing. Overrated. Overhyped. I was fit enough. No.
Oh my god NO. I truly respected the distance from that moment onwards and also, the people who had finished it.
Then the next few kilometres all the way to 40K was really slow. I think I took 40minutes for 5K there. At 37K, I remember distinctly, a volunteer who screamed, "You've already come this far, go all the way now!" I almost cried. Those words, man, that didn't just mean the distance for me. It meant the entire journey of my running life, my whole life. "I've already gone so far..." That was a pure adrenaline boost and for the first time since the start I shifted into my 10K race pace and RAN. And RAN, and RAN!
You know I'd love to tell you I carried on towards the end and managed to salvage a 4:30 but I can't. The distance, the fatigue was just too overwhelming. My legs felt heavy again and I was put in my rightful place back again to the slow jog. The short spur motivated me, and although it felt like an eternity, and know I am nearing the end now.
After a while I saw the Benjamin shears upslope from far. I saw the mass of runners slowly ascending up. As I got closer, I saw the majority walking up. "This is going to be REALLY tough." I lamented. I could have walked like the rest, but I did not want to put my training to waste. I had trained for hills. I did not want to have done hill-repeats like a fool for NOTHING. However slow I go up, I must not walk.
And I'm proud to say I never did. After the most challenging part of the Marathon, we were back to flat surface and less than 3K to go! I could smell it now, the finishing line. Nothing was going to stop me now. If I had thought of giving up, they were all gone now. I was literally chasing the finishing line. So I went, and went, and went.
Made it through a final U-turn past the F1 stop and now, the sign read "2km to go!". "Go...go..go...."
"1km to go!"
Oh yes.
OHHHH YES.
Then made a final left turn and the Esplanade Drive, the starting point of so many races welcomed us. Yes, Padang is just beside it now. A beautiful scenery for the final kilometre. There were lots and lots of supporters and cameraman now. The Sun was blistering hot, but I wasn't even bothered. "Keep going..." I told myself. I saw the start point now. Meaning the end point was very near.
Then, the final right turn and we were covering familiar grounds now. I was reminded to the long 10minute walks from the bus to Padang we had to take during security ops for NDP, and this was the route I am running now. I could visualise the end point. So I ran hard, forgetting about the cramps and the rashes and the suffering. Supporters were everywhere now.
Then, I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. the FINISHING POINT. It is indescribable man. I had just ran freaking 42 kilometres...!
The signs slowly unveiled -- "150m"..."100m"..."50m"...
I almost cried again. We just fed off the energy from the crowd. It very strong stuff man.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" I screamed, as I ran past the line, fist clenched and arms up in the sky, victorious. I did it. I did the Marathon. I clocked at 5:04:12, but that wasn't important. I had finally done it. The best day of the year.
Here I'd sincerely like to Thank all the enthusiastic volunteers (not those bunch who were sleeping or just plain unmotivated) and especially to those supporters who were handing out sweets and bananas they brought themselves at the East Coast Park stretch. These are people who share their time and effort to make the race experience more wonderful. If possible I would like to do that one day, just to pass on the good spirit and make future runners feel as happy as I was when I recieve such acts of kindness.

Oh yea, I remember. I told myself, and some of you, I'd never do a Marathon again. Well I lied.

That was then. Now I know why. Why people do it again and again and again. One has to truly experience the Marathon itself to know just why, even when it so torturous, people come back every year to do it.

The Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore was the perfect way to end my 2010 official races! What a wonderful experience.

Now, about the Adidas Sundown Marathon and redeeming my 4 hour finish...

Read more »

Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore 2010 Review

Okay, let's get a formal review up before I post about my performance. 

This year was a first, in many ways. The course was split into three different start points for the Full/Half/10K. Of course, there were the newly introduced routes where runners got to cruise around iconic landmarks of Singapore such as Orchard, Sentosa, Singapore Flyer, Universal Studios etc. It certainly made the run more interesting and scenic. And also, a new record of 60,000 runners took part -- a good sign that the SCMS is still the pinnacle public sports event locally. 

On the Full Marathon route; I thought it was great! My words may not hold much since this is my maiden Marathon, but I definitely liked the fact that I got to see all the iconic landmarks as I run. Serves as a good distraction too! The start at Orchard Road - oh boy it was beautiful, with the Christmas lights and ornament in full display on an early morning. Continued past familiar buildings such as the Fullerton Hotel and Esplanade, before heading to Nicole Highway. There, it was all the way south to the long East Coast Park stretch. Well, needless to say, this is the part where runners start to 'drone', or keep their pace, or for people like me, hit the wall. But soon after the 31K mark we got to see the beautiful blue sky again and headed towards the Marina Reservoir. I absolutely loved the breathtaking view of Singapore's skyline at the 32K mark; for that moment you just forget about all the pain and appreciate the wonderful sight in front of you. Crossing the reservoir was a first for most runners too, including me. Then we were greeted by Marina Barrage (lucky we didn't have to run up =X), followed by Marina Bay Sands. After this...THE BENJAMIN SHEARS BRIDGE. The KILLER part of the Marathon. It was upslope all the way now, and you'd saw 80% of the runners walking. But after conquering that it was all the way back to Esplanade Drive and the final turn into Padang, the end point. 

Logistics wise, it wasn't perfect. There were pros and cons but ultimately the 2K walk to the baggage collection just created a very negative experience for runners, no matter how well organised the other areas were. Especially for Full Marathoners, who were already struggling to walk, much less have to get all the way to the F1 pit stop. The water points were sufficient, and volunteers were quick to re-fill the drinks so no complaints there. However it'd be much better if there were most volunteers/first aiders handing out muscle rubs, especially after 30K. At the most challenging part, the Benjamin Shears bridge, they actually ran out of muscle rub when that was the point most people need them. Gel/banana supplies were adequate. 

Well to add on, I strongly think it would be good to add music stations to the run. Having loud music being play will give runners a huge psychological boost and aid them towards completion of the race. I was wondering, this is an international event, why aren't there music stations throughout? It gave me a very 'dead' atmosphere at times, especially when we run through the mundane East Coast Park.

Post race collection was done smoothly, tents were well organised. This year's finisher's medal is awesome! Even though it's my first Marathon medal, I think it might well be my prettiest already! The shirt is really up to individual preference. Though I think the black colour would not do well with most runner's, especially females. 

In essence this year's SCMS was a success, especially the interesting route. Essentially it managed to do the most important thing which was to create the vibrant atmosphere and showcase the spirit of the marathon. It is something which I can only feel in a Marathon, nowhere else. 

Read more »

I'm not a Runner...

...till' I complete a Marathon.

Nuff Said.

No more time wasted, I need to sleep. I'm already behind schedule.

Key points. 

Breakfast, pee, drink alot, pee somemore, and gut it out there for 42K. I can do it...

Alright wait for my postrace review.!

Read more »

The Final Stop - Thoughts on Sunday.

As the day ends, we can conclude our preparation for the Marathon this Sunday.

I've not said this, but I was battling a nagging ache on my left leg. In fact, the truth is my body was hurting like hell for the past week, due to my last gym session and worsen by the high intensity soccer session. Yea, I admit if I could have done thing differently, I would have listened to my body and rest instead of playing through the pain. 

Well I am glad to say, the pain has subsided after days of sufficient rest and lots of muscular balm. It is still not 100%, but I will be fully healed by Sunday. I only fear that doing a Marathon straight after healing for days could lead to unwanted repercussions. Well there's no way I'm no-showing on Sunday, so be it if things turn out bad. 

Well my carbo-loading is going well. Or so I hope. If you consider the Anbiry Baburu we had at Ben Ten which was IMPOSSIBLE to finish OMG (Thanks to Mel the superman who finish like 3/4 singlehandedly). Been taking in loads of carbs, either wanted or unwanted I didn't care and gorged down litres and litres of water. It's forced, but it's necessary. Tomorrow, I will be having pasta with grilled chicken @ Astons as my final meal before the race.

Ok, drifted off to FB for a while but let's finish up the post.

FINAL MARATHON STRATEGY:

Employ negative splits strategy. 

Start the first half of the race, i.e. 1K to 21K, @ 10-20 seconds per km slower that target marathon pace. Simply put, go at 5:50 - 5:59 from 1K to 21K. 

For 21K to 32K, increase pace no matter what. I've already emphasize this, if I want to even remotely touch 4-hours, I must increase it to RMP. For sub-4, this means from 21K to 32K, or 11K, I must go at 5:40. If I go any second slower, 4-hour is a goner. It is so important in this part of the race, as my body hits the droning period from 21K onwards, and it's the best time to make up time. If we start too early @ RMP, we might burn out. If we try to go @ RMP only in the ending moments, we have to ask, can we do it? What if we hit the wall; a high possibility? So I concur to go at RMP from around 20K to 33K as the best period. 

After that, we face the inevitable 20 mile mark. Well I've done it before, and I've prepared already. So I don't see myself bonking there. If things progress as I intend, and hopefully I still have the state of mind to think properly, I will have to run the final 10K at, get this--52 minutes! *Gulps*. Yea that is intimidating and honestly I don't know if I can do it. But that is assuming we did the first 21K at 6 minute. If I do the first 21K at 5:50, things seem easier because I only have to do the last 10K at 55 minutes with change to spare. So I can only say, the last 10K is a BIG question mark, and I can only know how I will go at that moment. But the possible scenarios are; I bonk and just try to finish, I am behind time and I aim for 4:10 finish, I hit runner's high and I go at 10K pace for a while, ultimately finishing just outside 4 hrs, or the best scenario, I run a perfect Marathon and I hit 4 hrs. 

We shall see, that's all I can say. 

Still gotta wash my 2XU and drink 2 more cups of water! CYA.

Read more »

Same Plot; Time to Fight.

Let's get straight down to it.

Recieved a call from my spec this morning. Guess what? Apparently, he DID NOT KNOW I WAS ON LEAVE ON COG DAY and put me for COG. I was like, what the F***? Well, since the new protocol was to give full strength for all parades, everyone not on duty or leave must do parade. But I was clearly on freaking leave! I had taken 3-7 Dec don't know how many bloody months ago, approved, and now he says I must be recalled back for COG if there's no replacement? Like that's my F***king problem that you don't check whether I was on leave or not? How can a spec, just throw in my name without checking whether I'm on leave that day? And on my side, I had already verbally told him I was on leave on COG date. And it was even written on the office whiteboard. So it's HIS negligience he did not know or bother to check if I was on leave or not. And now he is literally giving me a big 'F*** You' in the face by saying worst come to worst I'll have no choice but to be recalled on COG day? And he claims I did not update the freaking parade state my leave when I did that already LMAO. This is to me just plain laziness on his part. There is NO WAY I am going to be recalled back and I am going by any means to make sure things GO MY WAY THIS TIME. I WILL FIGHT FOR MY LEAVE if he doesn't sort this matter out and find a DAMN replacement, and clean this shithole that he dug himself. I have nothing more to say. Seriously now I know why people hate this guy. To think I'm still ok with him until now. There's no way I'm doing COG. 

In case you don't know, COG clashes with Standard Chartered Marathon. That is WHY I'm so bloody pissed. I had taken in advance, way way advance, in fact this was the first leave I applied for because I want to make sure I could make it for the Marathon. And now last minute this SHIT, uncalled for SHIT happens?! 

Sunday, I've thought about it, is the MOST important day for 2010. It signifys the biggest challenge for my running life. It represents the holy grail, to be honest. From my noble start...the weight loss...5K, 7.5K, 10K, 15K, my races, my medals, my injuries, my long runs..EVERY SINGLE WORKOUT, EVERY SINGLE RUN, ACCUMULATES TO THIS. I have looked forward to this day for half a year. Not a single day has passed without me thinking of the Marathon; it's like an obsession. This Sunday, everything is going to come down to this Sunday.

And to have it taken away from me by a mere spec and his incompetency? 

NO WAY. NO BLOODY WAY. I TELL YOU, WORST COME TO WORST, I MUST FIGHT FOR MY LEAVE. NO. I MUST FIGHT FOR MY LIFE.!

Read more »