2011: A Perspective from 2010

*Tries to be as positive as possible even though I'm down with a flu and need to book in tonight*

Hey! It's the final hours of 2010 and we are counting down! This year there will be no traditional gathering and countdown celebration for me as everyone is busy. We the army guys are in camp, others have love interest, etc. Indeed, I will be counting down in camp heh.

Every year eve, our NP clique will sit down quietly after countdown and have a good chat about their year and their hopes for the next. However this year it ain't happening which is quite a shame. So instead, BLOG! I will be putting my heartfelt thoughts as we share the moment together...

A look back, wow, it has been a good year. Better than 2009, if you asked me. And I thought 2009 was a great year. It just keeps getting better, I hope. But 2010 was huge. A lot of life changing events happened. I remember on 1 Jan 2010 chilling @ henderson waves thinking what would 2010 be like. And now I am thinking the same about 2011.

My motto for 2010 was "Life begins at 20". Or so it always has been. In 2010, I finally hit my twenties and it felt bittersweet. I was no longer a kid or teenager. I was no long an adolescent going through the juvenile period. The time had finally come, that I was going to face adulthood. I admit, I have had my share of wasted years in my youth, but all the more it made me want to redeem myself. So with an aim to do as much as I possibly can in 2010, I took on the year. 

Perhaps no bigger chapter in my life could top the day I took up competitive running! In 2009, I was a changed man. I underwent the biggest undertaking in my life by losing 22kg, turning from fat to fit. In 2010, I am proud to say I have maintained my weight and not just that, I have become way fitter! There were so many memories from the races I participated in. For example, my first race, the Army Half Marathon. I experienced the atmosphere and spirit of running. Or the time I went to KL for the Nike race. First overseas race! Or my first trail run at Macritchie reservoir. But undoubtedly, the cream of the crop easily; MY FIRST MARATHON! Six months of struggle and preparation. All the mixed emotions -- happiness, pain, resilience accumulated, resulting in sheer estacy when I crossed the finishing line, and earning the credentials to call myself a RUNNER. I did it man, I did it. =)

Oh haha, how could I have forgotten my enlistment into SAF? Serving the nation is an obligation for every Singaporean male and in 2010, my turn came. I remembered vividly, I was not scared, I was prepared. I had lost so much weight pretty much to dodge the extra two PTP months and trained hard for BMT. I was ready. 

BMT to me will always be filled with mostly good experiences. We were trained from day one basic military skills and culture. Stuff like shooting a real rifle, throwing a real grenade, putting on camo-cream, being tortured in field camp, the soldiers' camaraderie, regimentation etc will all be etched in my memory. However I had disappointed myself as I didn't go to command school. I thought long and hard and went looking for all the reasons why. I realised it was a combination of my poor social skills and incompetent A level grades. This led me to question my value as a human being, but it spurred me on the push harder in my running. 

I was extremely bothered, but I was lucky enough to be posted as a Military Police! It is definitely one of the best vocation out there. 8 to 5, no stay in, no SOC/VOC, no outfields, yet we get combat pay, slack life...I am privileged. I met some very good friends in basic course, and I am grateful. Then after my graduation as a certified MP, I was posted to non other than the Istana Platoon! I guess it was fate. But life here, after half a year of 'standing', is pretty good. I love the fixed schedule and funny people. Bad news is, i got into trouble time and time again, and as of 2010 my 'record' is 5 off (deducted) and 3 extra duties. (I'm sssad). But I have learnt my lesson, and one of my aims for 2011 is not to get punished anymore. 

Also, there were sad times. During my MP basic course, my bed buddy told me my tuition mate had retook her A levels, instead of going to University! I was stunned, because I could have went back to tuition since I retook also and might have another chance. But how could I have known. That hit me pretty hard. Another event during June, I went back to the Food Expo which I worked in 2009, and saw some good people..and a crush. It was good to see her again but I know, I will never have to chance. 

Events like these always make me think a lot but I always channel them positively into running. That is where I get my motivation from. I believe in this, if I want to get a girl as perfect as I can imagine, then me myself must be good enough for her, if not better than her. I must be deserving. I look down on those princess and the frog cases. 

My 'bond' with Black Metal and aggression has also subsided. Nope, I am not over the phase. Black Metal will always be in my veins and I can never erase my dark periods, but now I have no need to call upon it so much. It is because, again, due to running. I have become a more peaceful person, more hopeful, and more believing. I love to listen to smooth Burzum music and instrumentals instead of the RAW and depressing stuff now. However the ultimate point is, I know I can always have Black Metal Music as something to sympathize with no matter how dark and depressive I feel and that is TRVE!

Now, as the new year begins, let's look at some events I forsee/hope for 2011:

• BTT and FTT done
• Be CLEAR of my future. 
• My first Ultramarathon 100K, and 2 more Marathons (SD & SCSM) 
• Finishing a presentable portfolio and applying for NTU ADM 
• Do no commit anymore stupid offences in camp (Think before you do)
• My POSB A/C balance $5000 when I ORD. 
• ORD DATE: 3/12/2011 "ORD LOH!!!!!"
• Taiwan Trip?
• Wisdom tooth extraction
• First Clubbing experience
• 21st Birthday (?) (No celebration...)
• Project "Bodybuilder"?

Well, that's all I can think of now...but of course, like the past, I hope the new year brings in new surprises! I can't forsee the future, but I sure as hell have the ability to influence my own actions and choices. 9:38PM, 31 DEC 2010. I CAN STILL SAY NEXT YEAR IS 2011 YEA! I want to complete all that in 2011, when I reach 21. Life starts at 20, and I will be reaching that FIRST year on 22 Apr, and learning more things after that. Most of all, I truly, madly, deeply want to be sure of my future, and what my plans are after I ORD. I will not allow myself to still be a wandering lost soul after 21 years of life. 

Alright, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2011 EVERYBODY! LET'S ALL HAVE A GOOD ONE NEXT YEAR! (And hope it's not the last complete year in history. Cue 21,21,2010 Doomsday?)