Humbled by the Marathon.

I figured I'd do a thorough recollection of my Marathon experience just for the record.

So I went to bed at 8.30pm sharp the night before. Had a absolutely shocking dream that ended up with me not attending the Marathon...guess I was too excited. Slept till' past 2am before waking up and packing up my stuff.
Re-visited 'Spirit of the Marathon' and David Goggins clips to pump me up. Then, changed into gear and cabbed to Orchard. When we reached, we took our time to do last minute preparation such as having an energy bar or putting some vaseline before depositing our bags. Then it was off to the starting point! By the time we walked to Ngee Ann City, the crowd was already filling in and the christmas lights were in full display. Not taking any chances to be late, we immediately made our way to the pens, took our spots, and waited.
I was excited, nervous and focused all at the same time. Only then had it hit me that I would be running at least, 4 hours non-stop! It was unnerving but I was still confident. Now it was around 4.30am, 30minutes to flag off. A while later they decided to cut off the pen barriers and merge the runners together. This was when I got an eye-opener; suddenly everyone around me rushed to get as near as possible to the start line. Well I thought the pens were designated to differentiate between the fast and slow runners, but didn't figure out that they would do away with it during the last moments before flag off. So this was how the people at the back could eventually get infront. Anyway, now everyone was warmed up and ready to go. Then the gun went off, and that marked the START OF THE MARATHON!
With a smile on my face, I told my compatriot Chunghuo 'good luck' and off I went! With the 5:50 pace in mind, I navigated away from the crowd to get some space. Around 1K into the race I saw an interesting and amusing sight; some runners were already going over to the nearby drains to pee!
So the first 10K was basically keeping pace for my targetted time. I made it to 58minutes sharp and still felt good. The plan was being executed; I was en-route to a sub-4.
Then the next part, I had to maintain 5:50 until 21K. This should be manageable, so I continued with the pace. Sometime after the 15K mark, my legs start to feel HEAVY. Like, real heavy. The worst part is, I had no explanation for it. It just came suddenly! Even right now, I am still appalled. I mean, I had prepared well, trained well, carbo-loaded, hydrated properly, had a proper breakfast. I checked everything. So I really didn't know why my legs started to feel heavy at only 15K. As the distance increase, the fatigue increased. I was still on pace though, but I was feeling the punch. But heck, I thought. If I could make it to 20K, I might just reset my engine. Then, as I crossed the 20K mark, I checked my watch which said approx 1 hour and though I was a few seconds off, sub-4 was still up for grabs. But I made one mistake.
I should have reach the 21K instead of 20K. That was the first of many breakdowns. I was instantly demoralised. It was only one kilometre, but it meant precious minutes wasted! I was looking into 4:10 finish now, though still wanting a sub-4. So I pushed forward.
But my efforts did not last long. My plan was to up the pace to 5:30/km from 21K to 32K, to make up the lost time, but it proved to be too much for me. I struggled to keep it from 21K to 23K before slowly down. I was very demoralised now, as I know sub-4 is almost impossible. But I still wanted 4:10.
Then suddenly, I broke down again. At the 25K mark, I remember. That was the first wall I hit. My pace just came crashing down to a mere trot. It was like a downward spiral, and without any warning! I just crashed and burned. The fatigue overcame me, and mentally I knew that was it. I could not go on pace anymore. Worst, I can't even salvage a 4:30 anymore. My thigh and calf muscles were so damn tight they could have exploded any moment. I reduced to a slow jog. I could only carry on with a slow jog. That moment, man, I hated it. I wanted to stop and give up. Seriously. But this was my FIRST Marathon, damn it! No way I could face anyone if I gave up! So I just sucked it up and aimed to finish. Yea, just to finish.
But that was just the start of the suffering. I honestly tell you, each and every step from 25K onwards, I was in PAIN. And no adrenaline rush could have helped. I had to run THROUGH the pain, each and every step. It was horrible. I remember 25K to 30K passing very slowly. At the 27K mark, I cramped up and I just stopped. I could not run anymore. Just couldn't lift my legs anymore. Thankfully I was at the aid station and I decided to apply muscle rub on my legs to lessen the pain. It worked perfectly! It was not a pretty sight, with white cream all over my legs and that my expensive 2XU was all covered in them, but it was working. The cooling sensation just fizzed out all the pain and I continued running. Even if I was jogging, I wanted to finish.
By now I was using all the mantras to keep myself going. Finally, at the 31K mark, we were out and into Marina. I saw the daylight again and carried on. But now I was using a walk-jog strategy. I would jog for around 2K or so, to the next water stop, drink up, take a gel or two, apply lots of muscle rub and move on. This carried on all the way till' the end. I even went to the toilet once, I remembered.
From 31K to 36K, cramping up was normal now. Pain was normal now. Yea, I just said pain was normal, what the heck. It is like they say, it's all up to your mental strength now. Do you give up and walk, or do you carry on running? I used any little bit of motivation to spur me on. The fatter guy infront of me? Catch up. The 4:45 pacer there? Follow him. The chio bu who is running fast than me? Overtake her. The beautiful backdrop, the fresh morning air, everything. I just had to keep going.
After 35K it my legs began hurting so much I had to walk again. Second wall I hit. Man, the Marathon is really, really though, I thought. That moment, I instantly regretted signing up for the 100K ultra next year. "F***, I wasted $165." I thought. This was when I was really humbled. I thought that 42K was nothing. Overrated. Overhyped. I was fit enough. No.
Oh my god NO. I truly respected the distance from that moment onwards and also, the people who had finished it.
Then the next few kilometres all the way to 40K was really slow. I think I took 40minutes for 5K there. At 37K, I remember distinctly, a volunteer who screamed, "You've already come this far, go all the way now!" I almost cried. Those words, man, that didn't just mean the distance for me. It meant the entire journey of my running life, my whole life. "I've already gone so far..." That was a pure adrenaline boost and for the first time since the start I shifted into my 10K race pace and RAN. And RAN, and RAN!
You know I'd love to tell you I carried on towards the end and managed to salvage a 4:30 but I can't. The distance, the fatigue was just too overwhelming. My legs felt heavy again and I was put in my rightful place back again to the slow jog. The short spur motivated me, and although it felt like an eternity, and know I am nearing the end now.
After a while I saw the Benjamin shears upslope from far. I saw the mass of runners slowly ascending up. As I got closer, I saw the majority walking up. "This is going to be REALLY tough." I lamented. I could have walked like the rest, but I did not want to put my training to waste. I had trained for hills. I did not want to have done hill-repeats like a fool for NOTHING. However slow I go up, I must not walk.
And I'm proud to say I never did. After the most challenging part of the Marathon, we were back to flat surface and less than 3K to go! I could smell it now, the finishing line. Nothing was going to stop me now. If I had thought of giving up, they were all gone now. I was literally chasing the finishing line. So I went, and went, and went.
Made it through a final U-turn past the F1 stop and now, the sign read "2km to go!". "Go...go..go...."
"1km to go!"
Oh yes.
OHHHH YES.
Then made a final left turn and the Esplanade Drive, the starting point of so many races welcomed us. Yes, Padang is just beside it now. A beautiful scenery for the final kilometre. There were lots and lots of supporters and cameraman now. The Sun was blistering hot, but I wasn't even bothered. "Keep going..." I told myself. I saw the start point now. Meaning the end point was very near.
Then, the final right turn and we were covering familiar grounds now. I was reminded to the long 10minute walks from the bus to Padang we had to take during security ops for NDP, and this was the route I am running now. I could visualise the end point. So I ran hard, forgetting about the cramps and the rashes and the suffering. Supporters were everywhere now.
Then, I saw the most beautiful thing in the world. the FINISHING POINT. It is indescribable man. I had just ran freaking 42 kilometres...!
The signs slowly unveiled -- "150m"..."100m"..."50m"...
I almost cried again. We just fed off the energy from the crowd. It very strong stuff man.

"YEAAAAAAAAAAA!!!" I screamed, as I ran past the line, fist clenched and arms up in the sky, victorious. I did it. I did the Marathon. I clocked at 5:04:12, but that wasn't important. I had finally done it. The best day of the year.
Here I'd sincerely like to Thank all the enthusiastic volunteers (not those bunch who were sleeping or just plain unmotivated) and especially to those supporters who were handing out sweets and bananas they brought themselves at the East Coast Park stretch. These are people who share their time and effort to make the race experience more wonderful. If possible I would like to do that one day, just to pass on the good spirit and make future runners feel as happy as I was when I recieve such acts of kindness.

Oh yea, I remember. I told myself, and some of you, I'd never do a Marathon again. Well I lied.

That was then. Now I know why. Why people do it again and again and again. One has to truly experience the Marathon itself to know just why, even when it so torturous, people come back every year to do it.

The Standard Chartered Marathon Singapore was the perfect way to end my 2010 official races! What a wonderful experience.

Now, about the Adidas Sundown Marathon and redeeming my 4 hour finish...