Dark times, dark times.

December's just started. 

December's just started.

Somehow, karma never fails to hit me in the most ironical of ways. It ALWAYS happens this way. By a cruel twist of fate. My life is just like that. My stars are fixed. 

Well.

I just signed 3 extra AGAIN.

You know, there's no use elaborating about how it signed, why I signed or whatever. There's no point in letting people know since it's my blog. If people are truly concerned they will ask themselves, Lab. So leave it there. I only need to focus on how to clean this shit up. Yes, from my tone I am damn pissed just talking about it, but on doing the extra, it really doesn't bother me after a long thought. After all, it's just staying in extra hours in camp, a few hours of sleep taken away, for what, three days. It's nothing. I can handle it. But how I actually signed really pisses me off. 

Am I really the 'jinx'? I wonder. Or am I just undergoing a rough time early. Maybe this will pass soon, and the rest of my army life will be smooth sailing. After all, I do learn from past mistakes. I hope this is the case. I am sick of having my offs deducted and signing extras like free. It's killin' me man, even though I may on a brave front. 

Yet, Metal never ceases to induce some comfort and tranquility into these dark times. I can always depend on Metal to emote with, to share my negative emotions. Of course, I could go out and have a long run to clear my mind too. On the 'channeling my negative emotions' department, I am adept. No worries for me being unable to handle the stress and doing silly things, nope. 

But truth be told, I really hate this period. From my 3 days off deducted, to getting caught for wearing watch on parade, to now. I am just hanging on a thread, son. I fear another punishment will break me. 

Looking into the near future, I admit. It's bleak. And ain't gonna be over soon. Guard duty, after I sign, will only start on January. What a lovely way to start the new year, eh? And duty schedule/parade/company drill are so packed, I can't take off easily. Just for next week, I am packed from MONDAY to THURSDAY. Then come end of the year, more duties. Luckily, I don't have duty on 31. But what I'm fearing is, to get duty on 1/1/2011. That is the ultimate blow. In fact that would suck for anyone on duty. Even after 2010, 2011's gonna start negatively. Damn, I hate being so moody but this is just the shite situation I'm in now! 

And that's just camp life. There are much bigger outside stuff bothering me now...